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| Friday |
| 04.09.04 (12:53 pm) [edit] |
Last night I took grandma to see Passion of the Christ. She had seen in once before, but she really wanted me to go with her, so I figured why not. It was a good movie, very brutal though.
Later on that night, Holly, Dustin and I all went up to the waffle house to grab a bite. It was funny cause dustin was suppost to be following us back to my house and we gave him a roadtrip from hell, making him chase us down backroads and shit. I just pointed out the window and laughed.
I've got my room cleaned now. A shit load of family is comming up tommorrow. I dunno if thats good or bad. I hate big gatherings.
My sister called me this morning. I miss her, I'm glad she has a break from work.
Too bad I cant say the same. I gotta close tonight. But what can ya do...
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| Wed. |
| 04.09.04 (12:48 pm) [edit] |
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Yesterday Sean and I went to see the movie Hellboy. It was actually better than I thought it would be, from the commercials. We ate and AppleBees and mobbed around Wal-Mart for awhile. I got some new gel pens and the new Usher Cd. I saw a modest mouse tape and thought of cara, cause I rember she always wrote that she liked em. It was a pretty good day
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| Prowlers |
| 03.20.04 (10:53 pm) [edit] |
Thursday night was fun. I got to hang out with Dunlap for a little while, which was cool because shes usually not alowed out of the house ( her boyfriend won't let her see any of her friends). Holly, Dook, Dunny, and I all hopped in the car to pull a prank on one of our buddies. It was fun stuff.
Last night I got to hang out with Sean some which was nice. We didnt do much, but being around him was fun enough. Hes great.
Ahhg I got bit by something cause my arm itches like a mofo. Im gonna go calamine the bitch and go to bed,lol.
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| Quiz |
| 03.20.04 (10:46 pm) [edit] |
Your Life
name: Kate
sex: Female
occupation: Waitress
favorite people: Holly,Sean,Chee,Dani,Clos e Family
favorite place to be: In my bed, on a rainy night
favorite color(s): Pink,Yellow, Blue, Black
your house is: old, 2 story, yellow siding, with a red roof
best sex: Heh. Let me get back to you on that.
Rewind
most memorable memory: Anything my friends and I do, is memorable
worst memory: Several.. my suicidal summer which landed me in a hospital, relationship drama
first best friend ever: Holly
first sex: Oh jeez. Jan, 2000
Love?
love is: Not easy, but great once you've figured it all out
are you in love: Yes
love or lust?: Love is more important, but lust comes along with it
when love hurts, you: lay in bed, mope
Preferred Sex
turn ons: Well groomed, Smells Nice. On guys - Dark skin/hair/eyes.
your parent's opinion on your bf/gf matter to you?: Kinda, I think everyone longs for approval
the sweetest thing a member of the preferred sex can do for you?: Just show me effection
looks or smarts: I got someone that has both, so Im happy
are you the type of person to HOLLA and ask for numbers?: Back in the day
Picky Picky
best pets: Cats, rodents
short or long hair: Depends
sunshine or rain: Summer rains are the best
ink or piercings: Too much of either is rough
hugs or kisses: Both
favorite drink: Orange soda, Diet soda
snail mail or e-mails: Im to lazy for snail mail
playstation or nintendo: I only have a super,lol
car or skateboard: Car
sing or dance: Either
More about you
if you were a crayon, what colors would you be?: Yellow
ever OD'd?: No
what's the next CD you are going to buy?: I havent bought a cd in like a year
what's the last drug you took?: Effexor
what's the best advice ever given to you?: Except the things you cannot change
what's the stupidest thing you have ever done?: I cant count them all
how many kids do you want to have?: None right now
plan on getting married?: When the times right, I guess
what are you most scared of?: Loosing someone close to me, Death
how many TV's do you have in your house?: 3
vegan, veggie or carnivore: I likes both
who do you dream about?: Many people
who do you tell your dreams to?: Holly
your boyfriend/girlfriend is: Sean
your parents are: Still married
your eyes: Dark blue
your skin color: light peach
in school: graduated
prejudices: Na
pet peeves: Prejudice, Bullies
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| Tough Enough |
| 03.08.04 (4:05 pm) [edit] |
Holly and I got up at 6 a.m. to go walking. Now that my friend is motiation. I don't think I've ever free willingly got up that early for anything.
I made 61 dollars today in tips, which is great considering its a morning, and a weekday. Made me sleepy though.
I dislike that Matt kid that's living at our log cabin. He's the biggest mootch I think I've ever seen.
He just walks in, eats or food, uses are stuff, and still hes living down there for free. Err.
Oh well.
I just don't like when hes at the house. Makes me feel uncomfortable.
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| Wheel of Fortune |
| 03.06.04 (10:38 am) [edit] |
Yesterday was fun. Sean and I went down to Wal-Mart to get some tires put on his car, and then out to eat at a Mexican Resturant. I was feeling kinda sick before, so I didn't get to eat much, which sucked cause I was looking 4ward to it.
When we got home, we hung out some with his roomates Thom and Steph. The power went out around 7, but luckily they had a backup lamp we used. They tought me how to play hearts which was alot of fun, cause I had never played before.
The power came back on at like 11 or something. So Sean and I watched the move "Spy Game" with Brad Pitt and Robert Redford, before we crashed. I didnt really wanna go home since the storm was so bad, so I just stayed the night there.
Now I gotta go hop in the shower and get ready for work, I gotta close tonight
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| I am cursed with this curse |
| 03.02.04 (12:32 am) [edit] |
I just sat down in the shower and cried. Its all I can do. I hate me. I will never be normal. I will never have a normal life because of this shit. I wanna peel my skin off and throw it away. Why is this happening to me. I musta been a real bitch in my past life. I dont wanna be me anymore. I feel like cring more but it will only flame the curse which I am given. I hate me. I wanna get in bed and never come out. It will never be cured. I want to die sometimes
Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
I can't take the person starin' back at me
I'm a hazard to myself
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
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| 4 5 therfore 9 |
| 03.01.04 (10:20 pm) [edit] |
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I have such bad anxiety right now. Today I've managed to keep on a smile. I had alot of fun when Holly came over and when Sean dropped by. I love them both. Being around them is about the only thing that makes me laugh anymore. I feel like that egg off the zoloft commercial. I hate me alot 90% of the time. My stoamch is turning
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| B-day |
| 02.27.04 (12:52 pm) [edit] |
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My birthday went pretty good. Mom, Dad, Sean, and I all went to the Golden Dragon Chinease Resurant to eat. It was fun. After that, Sean and I drove to Centertown to pick up his car. ( It was out there getting something fixed). He gave me an awsome cd he burned off with the sweetest songs on it. He sang most of them to me, and held me in the car the rest of the night. He is the best boyfriend a girl could ask for. He made my birthday really wonderful. I love him so much
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| 19 |
| 02.25.04 (10:11 pm) [edit] |
Well I guess its offically my birthday. Time goes by so fast. I hate my skin.My face is realllly itchy, I have some weird rash on it, but I'll survive. Mom said she'd buy me a cellphone for my b-day but I dont know whats the best deal.
I need to ask Chee and Holly and see, cause I know they both have one.
I gotta work. Plllt.
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| Sweet Dreams |
| 02.25.04 (1:19 am) [edit] |
2day sucked. I really hate me. And my life. I'm loosing it slowly and no one even knows it. Thier to blind to see it, I fear for myself. I fear I will snap. And that will be that. Fuck....
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| Reflection |
| 02.24.04 (2:10 am) [edit] |
I look over at you.
I Despise you. Why the hell are you cring,
You did it to yourself.
Look at you. I think I used to know you...
Sweet innocent you...... You used to love life.
Now you're killing yourself.
Slowly.
Your insecurities will eat you alive.
Until you vanish. And forget who you are
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| With you... |
| 02.23.04 (12:18 am) [edit] |
I was feeling like shit earlier so I decided to take Cheestins advice and get outta the house. I went shopping and bought a new outfit, which I guess makes me feel better.
I experienced something new today. First time, I've ever done that, never thought I could but someone proved me wrong.
Last night I went to bed at 4 a.m and got up at 7, and I've been awake every since. I feel cracked out, but for some reason this week, I really haven't slept much at all. Usually when I get stressed my face breaks out in weird itchy dry patches. The doctor I had went to, explained it was some nerve thing, but its annyoing as hell. I feel ok for not tho, cause I got to spend sometime with my man which was alot of fun. I loves him.
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| With you... |
| 02.23.04 (12:18 am) [edit] |
I was feeling like shit earlier so I decided to take Cheestins advice and get outta the house. I went shopping and bought a new outfit, which I guess makes me feel better.
I experienced something new today. First time, I've ever done that, never thought I could but someone proved me wrong.
Last night I went to bed at 4 a.m and got up at 7, and I've been awake every since. I feel cracked out, but for some reason this week, I really haven't slept much at all. Usually when I get stressed my face breaks out in weird itchy dry patches. The doctor I had went to, explained it was some nerve thing, but its annyoing as hell. I feel ok for not tho, cause I got to spend sometime with my man which was alot of fun. I loves him.
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| Seven Deadly Sins Quiz |
| 02.21.04 (11:49 pm) [edit] |
THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS
WRATH
1. Who did you last get angry with? Someone I work with
2. What is your weapon of choice? A Gun ... no mess no fuss
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? If they did something horrible, yeah
4. How about of the same sex? I have before
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you? probably my mom
6. What is your pet peeve? bullies,snobs,conceded people
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? usually not, depends on what they did
SLOTH
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time? clean my room, I was suppost to do that like 2 months ago
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up? 4 pm, I was cracked out
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't? I was suppost to write Cara a snail mail letter back but havent got around too it
4. What is the last lame excuse you made? "I have someone on the other line"
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through? haha yeah
6. When was the last time you got a good workout? HA..God I need too
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? None I didnt even set it lol
GLUTTONY
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? idk...whaddya mean by yuppie?!
2. Meat eaters: white meat or red meat? white or dark
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event? Acouple glasses of Captin Morgan
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company? nope
5. Do you have an issue with your weight? Oh Yeah
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods? Depends
7. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought "Food!"? Peggy!!!
LUST
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/photos/porn/family )? 20 something
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)? bout 11
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of someone during a normal conversation? I used too
4. Have you "done it"? yep
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice? Hmm..... Tummy,eyes,mouth
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? nope
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy? I took a pregnancy test before
GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own? zippo. putting me in charge of a credit card is bad news
2. What's your guilty pleasure store? dunno
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? I'd buy all my friends something really special, then I'd buy myself a nice car and a house
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous? Rich, screw the fame
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? most likely
6. Have you ever stolen anything? yes
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive? Noooo!
PRIDE
1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of? Uhhhmmm
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of? dude...
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life? get a diploma and have a good job
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? no, im like "whoo hoo"
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? No
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? In school
7. What did you do today that you're proud of? haha no comment
ENVY
1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own? uhmmm....someone's car i guess
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces"? Xtina
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? Xtina cause she can spend 3,000 dollars a day and think its no big deal
4. Have you ever been cheated on? once
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? I wished I had a new body
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? I dunno dude
7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey? no
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| Vroomm |
| 02.20.04 (11:46 pm) [edit] |
I'm so glad my computers working now. It was being a bitch for almost two weeks and wouldn't let me get online. Today went pretty good. I went with my boyfriend Sean to a car place today. He bought the prettiest car! Its a 96' Purple Saturn, it's soooo nice. I'm really excited and happy for him. I wished I could have acted more enthusiastic when he came home with it, but I have been super sick all day. My immune system hates me.
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| V-Day |
| 02.13.04 (10:31 pm) [edit] |
Sean and I hung out today since I can't see him on Valentines Day (I have to work). We went to Tullahoma WalMart, and got some to go burgers at Wendys, but ya know what it was a blast. Most people think of Valentines Day as having to go someplace fantsy, but letting loose and just having fun, was one of the best dates I could have asked for. I had a great time. Sean suprised me with two really gorgeous peices of jewlery. He bought me a silver braclet that had "I love you" engraved on it, and a really pretty sparkly heart necklace. Hes such a sweetheart, I love him lots...
Oh yeah, I helped my sister set up a tblog today! Shes great stuff, I miss her lots
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| Splash Waterfalls |
| 02.11.04 (10:23 pm) [edit] |
I need a new layout but I have no idea what of. Hollys been asking me for weeks, but I cant think of anything creative. My brains in a slum.
I slept for 15 hours last night. I was sick so I took some Exederin PM and Sleeping pills and it plowed my ass. I just wanted to feel better, I wasn't expecting that,lol.
Its weird how one moment you can look at yourself and think you look normal and then later on that day when you look in the mirror you think your the most hideous, ugliest creature on the earth. I dunno how that works but it does.
Dani sent me snail mail today :) I miss her
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| One of these days |
| 02.08.04 (12:34 am) [edit] |
My sleeping pattern is messed up. I need to start getting my life on track. I can't ever seem to rest, or get comfortable. Maybe I think too much.
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| Ruberband man |
| 02.01.04 (10:37 pm) [edit] |
Last night was fun. Skylar, Sean, and I all went to Nashville to a Novelty store downtown. Its hard to be mature and not laugh when blow up cows, and glass shaped cocks are all around you,lol. After that we went to a place called Cafe Coco. I like Nashville because they have alot of places that stay open 24 hours. After that I just went back to Seans and crashed there. I like spending the night places, its fun. I miss Holly.
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| Just those rainy days |
| 01.29.04 (11:21 pm) [edit] |
Today went pretty good. Even though Im sick as hell, whats new. This bronchitus thing will never go away.
I'm seriously thinking about going to get my tonsils removed. It won't get rid of stuff, but I think it will help with future problems like strep throat and stuff. It won't be half as bad if I don't have my tonsils.
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| Butterflies |
| 01.28.04 (11:46 pm) [edit] |
I love Sean. He reminds me everyday of why life is worth it. Hes lovely.
I actually got my room cleaned (well sorta) Its refreshing cause before it was just rank,lol.
Got a new song for my tblog. Im excited, it makes me happy
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| Staring down the barrel of a 45 |
| 01.27.04 (9:09 pm) [edit] |
I didn't deserve to get yelled at and ignored. But fuck him, if he wants to be a moody asshole, its his life, not mine. I just wished the things that were said, werent said at all.
Besides that my day has been really good. I got out of work early.Plus I got to stay the night with my man the night before, which was fun.
I think right now Im in an odd state of mind.
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| Hoodie Hoo |
| 01.26.04 (6:51 pm) [edit] |
I gotta clean my room. Its gettin out of control.
Ever since the whole "Phillip incedent" that happened last week, Ive been a mess. Ive had cramps,nausea,nervous tension, and lack of sleep. I am lucky if I sleep 4 hours a night. And when I get really stressed I get reddish/brown itchy marks on my face. They pop up and irratate until I calm down. Sometimes they stay acouple days. Its weird, but I rember my doctor gave me cream for it along time ago, he said it was part of some nervous disorder. For my better well being I am not going to talk to him or anyone close to him. Its for the best, because I cant go back into a depressed slum like I used too.
One more month until my birthday! :D I guess thats something fun to look forward too. Dunno what Im gonna do yet though.
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| Weird |
| 01.26.04 (2:54 am) [edit] |
Today has been a mix of emotions.
It started out alright. Christa, Phillips exgirlfriend (they broke up two days ago), and I hung out. We went to Manchester to play pool with her friend Cambridge. It was ok I guess. I had fun but I dont think I will be hanging out with them again. Its too weird to hang out with someone whos dating the same guy you dated for 3 yrs. I have to get away from it all. I have to get away from anything having to do with Phillip because its making me an emotional basketcase. I wished I could move somewhere for acouple days till shit blows over.
He still loves me and I cant handle that shit. I am happy now. I am so in love with Sean its not funny. But when he tells me he still loves me, it makes me sick, I need to escape and never talk to him again cause I cant handle it, too much stress.
Im babbling
I havent slept at all and I have to be to work in acouple hours. I still need prayers. I need to get away from the past
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